His dark eyes dared me with danger, and sparks fly like flame to a paper

I don't even know where to start.

Maybe at the beginning...

I met someone. Someone really great. Someone I really like and end up being all giddy around. (Think middle school girl giddy.)

We went to the fair last Saturday, before I flew to Phoenix and just had a great time. We held hands and kissed when he dropped me off.

While I was in Phoenix, I met up with an old friend of mine. We went out for a drink and there was some flirting. He took me to see his new house that he had just bought and he kissed me.

I started crying and told him all about this guy. Luckily, we're good friends and he completely understood. He even thought I was cute because I was so twitterpated.

I ended up calling Erik. When you're with someone so consistently for so long, you become close and I had to share this with someone.

Was he the best choice? Maybe not, but he was the first person I thought of.

And that could be why I'm so confused right now.

When I got home to San Diego, Erik began texting me. The first one was simple, that he just wanted to give me a hug. Because he missed me.

Again, when you're with someone almost every day for a few months, you're going to miss them.

That I can deal with. But the rest, I don't know...

He told me that he doesn't want me to leave. He wants to be with me. Even, that he know we have things to talk about and he's willing to do the talking.

What the hell?

I asked Erik a few weeks ago to give us another chance. Why? I must be a glutton for punishment.

Don't ask me to explain why I would want to be with someone that hurt me and cheated on me, because I can't explain it.

That was a few weeks ago. That was before I met Will.

Every time I text with Will or talk to him, I grin and blush and get butterflies in my stomach.

Every time Erik says he loves me and wants to give us a chance and make it work...I grin and get butterflies in my stomach.

I don't like feeling like this; so torn between the known and the unknown.

I want to get to know Will better. I want to date someone before I just jump into a relationship. I like knowing and believing that he's a good guy. Maybe a little shy and maybe a little dorky, but so am I.

I really like that.

Then there's Erik.

Good old dependable Erik. I think when its convenient for him.

I think the whole ideas of: Me moving back to Missouri or getting a job and moving to Phoenix or... a new guy in my life. The prospect of not always being available to him got him thinking.

His words to me were: "I don't want to be the guy that didn't take a chance and missed out on something amazing."

Holy crap.

I don't know what to do. I want to stay in California if I can.

I don't want to stay for either guy. I want to stay because I love it here.

Do I get a bonus of getting to know Will better by staying here? Yes.

Do I get to see if Erik actually wants to give it a chance? I could, but I'm not sure I will.

This is not a situation I've been in before. It's new to me and I do not like it.