No more lives torn apart, that wars would never start...

I think I finally figured out why I've been resentful of Christmas for the last several years. For me, it all has to do with the commercial aspect; how many presents do we need to buy? How much money do I spend? What am I going to get in return?

I can't stand that.

Christmas is about the birth of our Lord. Plain and simple.

But, what I've really come to realize is that I was desperately looking for a place to belong to. Somewhere that I felt loved and loved others.

I've alienated different family members at different times. They've also been hurtful. But, with my resolution a couple years ago to be a better person and to learn to let go, I tried to mend those bonds. I was doing a great job too!

In June, my dad married his long-time girlfriend, giving me a step-mother who is more of a friend, and 2 little sisters and a little brother. Something I had prayed to God as a little girl to have. He answered my prayers, just 24 years later!

This summer, Will and I got married. His family welcomed me with open arms. I had sisters and a brother-in-law...it felt amazing! His sisters Kris and Emily are my friends. We text and poke each other on Facebook. Kris video chats with us every other week, with her handsome new baby...my nephew!

But I didn't just gain Will's immediate family...I gained the extended too. She just about rocks my world...I seriously don't know what I would do with SueAnn sometimes. We don't talk or text often, but when we do...well, I can say for me at least, its when I most need it.

I've been very weepy the last week. I wish I could be in about a dozen different places right now. With my dad and family in Missouri. With my best friend Shelly and her brood. Up in Ohio with the Benner family.

But, I'm pretty sure my tears are mostly happy. As I sit here at the computer, every time I look over my shoulder, Will gives me a smile. He loves me all the ways he should. He understands that need to feel like you belong. We belong to each other.

And as we have Christmas dinner with out makeshift family that we have here, I know that our hearts will be with both our families.

To all of you, Merry Christmas and a very happy and blessed New Year!