What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise, For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins...

Guilt is a fascinating emotion.

Webster's definition: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/guilt

I think many different points in every one's life, guilt has been an overriding emotion. Guilt for a white told to a friend to spare their feelings to outright deceiving someone intentionally.

Lies are not the only form a deceit. I personally am a believer that omission of facts is the same as lying. I also believe that most people can't handle the truth...even when they say they can.

This entry today isn't me coming clean about anything. Frankly, I have nothing to come clean about. But over the last few weeks, I've been having some...thought provoking conversations with a person that I once thought of as my best friend.

While I still consider this person a friend, I unfortunately cannot see them the same way.

That's not the point, the point is...playing devil's advocate with people that you have been intimately acquainted with is a dangerous game.

I'm dating a guy that I honestly feel like I can talk to and be open with...but it's still new enough that there are so many issues(UGH) or subjects that aren't really appropriate yet.

How and when do you determine when to let someone go a confidant (I use that term very liberally) and learning to entrust someone new.

And isn't it all about learning to trust yourself too? I think I've come to learn that a big factor in trusting another is being able to trust yourself.

But how do you trust yourself when you deal with guilt? Or, worse yet...how do you trust yourself when you don't feel guilt?

While every one deals with guilt...I think there is an equal amount of time when we don't feel guilty...even though we know deep down whatever we said or did was wrong.

My biggest issue that I have right now in my personal life is realizing that I trust myself enough to let someone in all the way. How do I know that when I open up and begin to explain things that have happened to me or things that I have experienced that I won't be rejected. Or not rejected, but looked upon with pity or remorse.

I don't want or need anyone else's pity. Its just not necessary.

Mistakes and guilt tend to go hand in hand. Should I feel guilt for the mistakes that I have made in my life? No. Mostly because I don't see mistakes, I see learning experiences.

I will not allow myself to be judged by the things that have been blips in my timeline...not all of them define me. In fact, a huge portion of them do not.

Too many times we let things in our past hold us back. They keep us from living life to its fullest, giving people and relationships a chance, and being the best version of ourselves that we want.

I only want a few things in my life: to be happy, to be successful, that my friends and family are happy and content. I want to eventually open my own bakery, to eventually get married and have the option of having children. Those are things that I want for my life. Those are the things most people want for their lives.

So, how do I bring myself up to the point where I let the someone special know that I want to let them in. When is it OK to become so trusting of myself and them?

Too many conversations and too little sleep makes for some rough feelings and a lot of confusion.

I ain't saying I'm perfect, but I promise I'm worth it.

I don't have much to say in this blog, even though its been a few weeks since my last post.

I have a boyfriend who is amazing. I can laugh with him, he teaches me things, and we can laugh at ourselves with each other. I had a really nice birthday dinner with a dear friend of mine, and got to spend the holiday weekend with family.

What more could a girl ask for?

There is a song that has been stuck in my brain for several days and I want to share a portion of it with whomever reads this.

I know these corners, I know these streets
Curbside prophets, they're yelling at me.
He can save my soul for a drink and dollar.

Yeah, he's yelling about my tattoos,
We all live with the scars we choose.
They might hurt like hell,
But they all make us stronger.

If you want it, come and get it.
If you want it, come and get it.
You'll understand, Take me as I am.

Slow to trust, but I'm quick to love,
I push too hard, and I give too much.
I ain't sayin' I'm perfect, but I promise I'm worth it.

Take Me As I am by Sugarland